


Lose You To Love Me

by SavedBySelena



Series: SuperCorp series of song based fics [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Selena Gomez Song, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 16:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21148973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavedBySelena/pseuds/SavedBySelena
Summary: Lena needs to start to love herself again and for that, she has to leave the one thing what have brought a light of happienes in her life. Even when it's going to hurt herself





	Lose You To Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, I don't know what I've done here. I'm listening to Selena Gomez' new single 'Lose You To Love Me' all day long and suddenly I thought 'Come on write some SuperCorp Angst' and now here I am and wrote this shit. I hurt myself while writing this shit and I'm sorry when I'm going to make you cry or hurt while you're going to read this

Lena was sitting in her office, with a glass of Scotch in her hand, while she was looking on a photo of her and Kara. They took this photo a few month ago. Kara had told her everything about her secret life and how sorry she was, that she hurt her that much. At first, Lena hated her best friend for what she has done. Was planning to use Kara for her own plans, until she realized, that she was madly in love with the young heroine. But the past few days and weeks Lena had noticed something. Even when she felt like that she was happy with Kara by her side with everything she has done for her, she wasn't happy anymore. She has done everything for Kara, went out of her comfort zone, even stopped working on some projects, just to have more time for the older one. But what she was realizing now is, that she stopped loving herself. Sure, she never really did love herself, but now she noticed, that she needs something new, something different. That's why she sold CatCo to Andrea and also was about to leave National City to start completely new in an other town.

But there was one problem, she still has to tell Kara, that she's going to leave and also, that it's the best for herself, never to talk to Kara again. Lena knew, that Kara wont take all that pretty easy, but for her it wasn't easy as well. While she was in love with her best friend, she has to watch her going out on dates with someone else all the time. Sure, Lena was happy for Kara, but she was feeling like, that Kara was replacing her. Lena shook her head, before she took an other sip of her Scotch and leaned back. She already planned when and how she was going to tell Kara everything. She will also tell her, that she's in love with her, but that it will be the best for her to leave things like that and leaving the town and Kara behind.

“Someone having a bad day?” Lena looked to her left and saw Kara standing in the balcony door. Dressed in her new super suit like usual, when she was coming through the window. Lena loved Kara's new suit. It was based on the one, she had made for her once. And pants really fit her better, than that old skirt the had wear before.

“Kind of” Lena said, before she got up and purred her some more Scotch in her glass. She'd needed some more alcohol in her system, when she's going to tell Kara everything. She noticed, how worried Kara looked and had a little smile on her face.

“Is everything okay Lena? You know, that you can talk with me about everything, right?”

“Of course I know that Kara” Lena sighed and sat down on her couch.

“So? What is on your mind?” Kara sat down next to her and layed her hand on Lena's knee, the young CEO scooted away a bit and that was the moment, that Kara noticed, that really was something wrong with her best friend. She raised an eyebrow and looked over at Lena, who sighed deeply. For a moment Lena closed her eyes and thought about how she'd going to tell Kara, that she's going to leave her and the town behind.

“It's not easy to tell” Lena started and looked at her best friend. Like always, Kara had a soft smile on her lips, what made it even more difficult for Lena, to tell her everything.

“Just say it Lena, I will help you as much as I can” if she just knew what Lena was going to tell her. Again Lena took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a little moment. She needed to focus. Now or never. She had to jump down this cliff and end everything with Kara, before she got even deeper in this and never can come out of it.

“I'm leaving town” Lena said and looked at Kara. The young heroine still had a smile on her lips and nodded short.

“When will you be back?” she asked, while leaned back and run her fingers trough her long blond hair.

“Never” now the smile on Kara's lips faded and she looked more than confused at her best friend.

“What do you mean with never?” Kara asked, but she was scared to hear the answer.

“When I said never I meant never Kara. I can't live her anymore. Why do you thought I sold CatCo? Just out of fun or while I wanted to focus more on L-Corp? No, it was because I can't be around you anymore” with these words Lena got up and went to her desk. Kara just sat there and looked over at her best friend. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Her heart clenched and she took a deep breath, before she got up as well and stood in front of Lena's desk.

“Why you can't be around me anymore?” Kara tried to be strong, like she always did. But it wasn't that easy right now. Especially, when her best friend just told her, that she can't be around her anymore.

“Because I'm not myself anymore Kara. Since you came into my life I am not myself. I stopped focusing on what I really loved, bought a company, just to do you a favour. Stayed by your side, even after you lied three years right into my face. For me it's the best, when I leave National City and you behind, without ever coming back. And you can't change my mind Kara. I will leave tomorrow morning and never come back again” Lena got her purse and was about to leave her office, but Kara grabbed her hand and stopped her. The young CEO turned around and looked in her best friends eyes. She could see the tears in her eyes, but she can't care anymore. She had to leave. For her own sake.

“Why? Why now? Is it because I'm dating William? Because I've lied to you all the time? Because you had to kill your brother because of me? Why Lena? Why you have to leave me?” Kara sobbed and her upper lip started to tremble, while she looked over at Lena, who still hat a straight face.

“Because of everything you just said and I need to lose you to love me” and with these words Lena left her office for the last time in for ever and Kara as well.

* * *

Kara was floating above National City and trying to find Lena's heartbeat, but she couldn't find it. Since three months she hasn't heard anything about Lena and still was trying to find her best friend. But there was no chance. Someone else moved into Lena's office and her apartment was empty. No sign of Lena Luthor in National City. Kara even asked Alex to see if her older sister could find something about Lena, but even the older one hasn't no chance to find Lena with her D.E.O. equipment. The young reporter even broke up with William, because she realized, that she never really was happy with him. Not as happy as with Lena around her. But now it was all to late to be with Lena ever again.

“Kara?” she heard a voice in her ear and stopped her movements.

“What is it Alex?” she asked and closed her eyes for a moment. She could hear Alex' heartbeat. She was in her apartment together with Kelly.

“Come home. It's freezing and even when you can't get sick I'm worried about you” Kara could hear the little sigh in Alex' voice and bit her lip for a moment.

“I need to find her Alex. I need to find her and tell her that I need her in my life and that I can't live without her” Kara was about to cry, but she tried to stay strong. She was dressed as Supergirl and no one could see her crying.

“Kara, please it's winter and freezing. Come home we both know, that you wont find Lena when she don't want to be found” now a little sob escaped Kara and she bit her lip even harder.

“Okay” she whispered with tears in her eyes and flew back home.

When she arrive din her apartment, she saw Alex together with Kelly on her couch and waiting for her. As soon as Alex saw her little sister she got up and looked over at her. She could see the tears streaming down her sisters face and had a soft smile on her face. Alex opened her arms and just a second later, Kara was in her arms, crying like she never cried before. Carefully Alex sad down on the couch while Kara curled up into her side, her face hiding in her sisters neck and sobbing hard. Kelly got up and went into the kitchen, to make a hot cocoa for Kara and getting some of the left overs for the younger Danvers sister. Kelly knew, that this was the only thing she could do right now. After everything was done, she put it on the coffee-table and motioned Alex, that she'll leave so the two sisters have some time alone. Alex nodded short, before Kelly was already gone. Kara seemed to noticed that her sister's girlfriend was gone and she moved away a bit from Alex, before she wiped away her tears.

“Why she has done that to me Alex?” Kara asked while getting one of her pillows to cuddle with.

“Sometimes people do things what's best for themselves without thinking if it could hurt someone else. Lena had done what was best for herself Kara and when that means, that she wants to cut you out of her live you have to accept that”

“I can't Alex. I need Lena in my life! I'm nothing without her in it. She was the one I could ever go to when I had a problem. She was the one who made me smile after I had a bad day at work. She was the one who….” but again Kara's voice broke and she cried even harder. Lena was the one. And Kara just realized it way to late. Now Lena had cut her out of her life and was trying to be happy without her. Somewhere else on the planet without her by her side. And the only thing what will for ever stuck in her mind were the last few words Lena had told her, before she was gone for forever.

_ **I need to lose you to love me** _


End file.
